Marriage stage one
Ayomide had been the man of my dreams right
from our university days. Infact, i always felt
jealous when ever i see another lady around him.
He was the keyboardist of the campus fellowship
but i was in the prayer session. He was in his
final year while i was in 300 level. My heart
would always pound when filled with doubt that
he would propose Marriage to me. I sometimes
felt that his attention could easily be gotten by
most of those sisters with sonorous voice in the
choir department who always love to frolic with
him and by all means seek his attention by
telling him to teach them how to play the piano.
My gentle self was always very careful and meticulous as i don't tend to do anything to try to gain his attention. I started having a deep,divine feeling of love for him when we were at the annual fellowship campus congress which is usually a camping programme. The congress moderator announced on the last night of the congress that our fellowship centre ; a branch of the fellowship, should meet at the camp kitchen to cook for the pastors. I joined the sisters to cook the delicious egusi soup. It was a very rich one with blends of spices; chopped scotch bonnet peppers, Vegetable, crayfish powder, dry
fish with beef and shaki inclusive. We divided ourselves into departments. The brothers were in the eba dept. Some were in plate washing dept. Etc. Indeed, the brothers proved themselves to be real men like samson. Our ribs almost cracked with laughter when we saw brother Tayo; the fellowship president, holding the long pestle, turning the eba with much zeal while he pushed his buttocks backwards. I quickly joined the soup department which were majorly sisters.
I was unwrapping the maggis when the holyspirit started minstering to me, saying, remember the
verse i directed you to read this morning ; proverbs 22:11... I noticed bro Ayomide sweating profusely with his bag backed as he steered the eba holding the pestle with all his strength together with bro Tayo. "e be like say this brother no dey used to this kine work", i soliloquized. Bro Jude had to collect the pestle
from him as he stepped aside to rest with the others standing. He stood like an inspector while
he gazed at People working in the various department. I started cutting the onions in the soup and tears started flowing down my Cheeks due to the onions' effect. I gently wiped it off with my white handkerchief. Suddenly, my eyes caught bro Ayo's eyes. I looked away as our eyes met and i adjusted my bag which i backed and continued cutting the onions. As i looked towards his direction the second time, his gaze was still at me. I stared at him for six seconds, i couldnt help but look away and Immediately, he started coming towards me. My heart started pounding like yam being pounded as i started pouring the other ingredients in the big pot of soup. He stood by my side and whispered softly
in my left hear, "gentle sister, why are you crying? Its like you were lost in thought". I responded with a smile and said, "nah, i wasnt crying, the effect of the onions made my eyes watery". Oh, i see. let me help you carry your bag so that you wont be exhausted, he said, as he tried to take the bag off my back. I reported. Oh no, its not too heavy. Thanks, i said, as i shook it with my back to show him it isnt heavy.
As he left, i felt bad and thought that i should have given him. Almost immediately, sister Debby shouted playfully and hilariously. Bro Ayomideeeeeeeeee! Come and carry my bag for me before i faint here o. Must you always be naughty? He said, as he approached her and gently collected it from her, carring it at his front together with his own backed. I started having a feeling. Oh my God! Is this not jealousy? I said
to myself. No no no, he isnt mine, sister Debby owns him, I thought to my self. Whenever i have a liking for any brother, i usually try to attach a sister that is more intimate with him in other to put him off my mind. "he has found you", i heard the still small voice say. No, i retorted. Yes, the spirit said gently. No, yes! No no, yes. No, no, no! Drama began in my mind. No, i said again for the last time. Yes, the still voice said faintly and there goes the battle field of the mind... . After a while, Bro Ayo suddenly shouted, who saw my rose flower? Please am looking for it. Wetin you dey do with rose in camp kitchen? People
murmured. I bought it for my mum's birthday ni o, he said as he walked outside the kitchen browsing through the grasses in search of it. Few minutes later, while we rested, checking on the stew from time to time to know when its done, sister Lara, my room mate, suddenly highjacked my hand, holding it tightly as i followed her outside the kitchen reluctantly.
Wetin happen this time around? I said. Rosemary, Just follow me, she replied. Before i knew it, she
stopped at the front of bro Ayo and said jokingly, this is your rose, she's the best gift you can give
to moma for her birthday... I jacked my hands off her and i left angrily, bearing down to the church
auditorium like a berserk Buffalo. I later knew that Lara found the rose which was neatly
placed in a small, transparent red box and gave it to bro Ayo when i left. She later apologized to
me. After that day, i kept Marriage thoughts out of my mind and faced my studies. Bro Ayo graduated the same year as an industrial Engineer, while i was in 300level as a pharmacy student. Towards the mid first semester in my final year, he called me on phone. He talked so long and was somewhat beating about the bush.
I thought he wanted to propose to me but he said he actually wanted to see me so that i would help him deliver a message and letter to someone. We met at Garrison garden. He was
already waiting for me. Sorry for the delay, i had to trek down from the library, i said. Oh, no
problem. My heart raced as i searched his eyes..
My roomies said they were damn sure he wanted to propose but I was 100% sure that was far
from his mission. Well, i would like to send you to sister Mary, tell her that i love her and want
to Marry her. So she's the lucky one...I thought to myself. It was very funny to me as i was almost jittering while he talked. I suddenly gave him a questioning look of whats my business with that.. Mary Akinsola? I asked. No, Adebisi Rosemary, he replied. That was me!! my heart leapt into my throat... I kept mute for a minute. I tried to hide my blushful feelings. Well, i will pray and think about it. Thats the normal answers ladies give. Even though, i knew my answer was yes already. Thanks a lot, he replied as he saw me off, back to the library where i was editing my project.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
We had just concluded our wedding reception. It was indeed a moderately expensive one. Hmmn, i was overwhelmed with joy unspeakable as i couldnt let off my eyes from my adorable handsome husband after said "i do". The first night of our wedding was glorious.. Am sure you know the normal experience. If not, read "The act of marriage" by Tim laHaye. We had all night of prayer and Bible study the next day while in the morning, we visited the amusement park. we engaged in various fun activities and utilized the park rides such as, Ferris Wheels, Scrambler, Bumper Car, train, and the carousel, also called merry-go-round which i enjoyed most. The ride consists of a rotating platform with seats that move up and down. The seats are the really special part, made of wood, fiberglass, and shaped to look like decorated animals, such as deer, cats, fish, rabbits, giraffes, and, of course, horses. We visited the zoo and botanical garden the third day. We visited many other exciting places while we rounded up our honeymoon the next Saturday with prayer and fasting.
Marriage Stage Two : Adjustment stage
My husband always buy me gifts with loads of surprises. Sometimes, he would write a love note
and put it in my handbag with flowers. At times, i would turn the bathroom light on, and i would see decorations and writings such as "you're my light in the dark". He would always carry me in his arms to the bedroom whenever i sleep of in the guest room. I love to feel his warmth. We did almost everything together. We shop together, bath together, eat together, and even do house chores together. Barely about a year after our wedding, things started falling apart as our love grew cold towards each other. He would always complain of being busy whenever i want us to do things together and i soon lost the attention he usually gave me. We started finding faults and when he tries to blame my weaknesses, i also nag him with his weaknesses. Whenever he gets angry, he would slam the door and Sometimes go
to sleep in a friend's house overnight. We never thought of divorce because we knew that Marriage has no reverse gear, but we lived cat and dog life. While at the dinning he would correct me harshly. Always close your mouth while eating, dont eat like a village girl, he would say. Ah ahn, cant you correct me nicely? after all, you always snore like a pig, disturbing me when you sleep, i would reply him and he would give me an angry look. After all i gave him tit for tat.
We later visited the pastor for counselling. He gave us loads of advice and explained that we were in the adjustment phase and that, its the Stage where most couples divorce or separate except they pray and work things out.
Marriage Stage Three:
We both learnt about the four different types of temperaments explained by the pastor ; Choleric,
Sanguine, phlegmatic and melancholic. We googled it, browsed and read related books. By
Now, we have learnt to praise each other's strength and also help to overcome each other's
weaknesses. Infact, Ayomide proposed to me again but i never gave it a thought this time
around. I gave him a sweet response immediately. Feelings come and go. But, true love acts on knowledge to do the right thing, even when feeling is absent. If you want to live an heaven on earth family life, walk by knowledge and pray hard when times are
turbulent. (Written by Apapa Taiwo Hamid ).
jealous when ever i see another lady around him.
He was the keyboardist of the campus fellowship
but i was in the prayer session. He was in his
final year while i was in 300 level. My heart
would always pound when filled with doubt that
he would propose Marriage to me. I sometimes
felt that his attention could easily be gotten by
most of those sisters with sonorous voice in the
choir department who always love to frolic with
him and by all means seek his attention by
telling him to teach them how to play the piano.
My gentle self was always very careful and meticulous as i don't tend to do anything to try to gain his attention. I started having a deep,divine feeling of love for him when we were at the annual fellowship campus congress which is usually a camping programme. The congress moderator announced on the last night of the congress that our fellowship centre ; a branch of the fellowship, should meet at the camp kitchen to cook for the pastors. I joined the sisters to cook the delicious egusi soup. It was a very rich one with blends of spices; chopped scotch bonnet peppers, Vegetable, crayfish powder, dry
fish with beef and shaki inclusive. We divided ourselves into departments. The brothers were in the eba dept. Some were in plate washing dept. Etc. Indeed, the brothers proved themselves to be real men like samson. Our ribs almost cracked with laughter when we saw brother Tayo; the fellowship president, holding the long pestle, turning the eba with much zeal while he pushed his buttocks backwards. I quickly joined the soup department which were majorly sisters.
I was unwrapping the maggis when the holyspirit started minstering to me, saying, remember the
verse i directed you to read this morning ; proverbs 22:11... I noticed bro Ayomide sweating profusely with his bag backed as he steered the eba holding the pestle with all his strength together with bro Tayo. "e be like say this brother no dey used to this kine work", i soliloquized. Bro Jude had to collect the pestle
from him as he stepped aside to rest with the others standing. He stood like an inspector while
he gazed at People working in the various department. I started cutting the onions in the soup and tears started flowing down my Cheeks due to the onions' effect. I gently wiped it off with my white handkerchief. Suddenly, my eyes caught bro Ayo's eyes. I looked away as our eyes met and i adjusted my bag which i backed and continued cutting the onions. As i looked towards his direction the second time, his gaze was still at me. I stared at him for six seconds, i couldnt help but look away and Immediately, he started coming towards me. My heart started pounding like yam being pounded as i started pouring the other ingredients in the big pot of soup. He stood by my side and whispered softly
in my left hear, "gentle sister, why are you crying? Its like you were lost in thought". I responded with a smile and said, "nah, i wasnt crying, the effect of the onions made my eyes watery". Oh, i see. let me help you carry your bag so that you wont be exhausted, he said, as he tried to take the bag off my back. I reported. Oh no, its not too heavy. Thanks, i said, as i shook it with my back to show him it isnt heavy.
As he left, i felt bad and thought that i should have given him. Almost immediately, sister Debby shouted playfully and hilariously. Bro Ayomideeeeeeeeee! Come and carry my bag for me before i faint here o. Must you always be naughty? He said, as he approached her and gently collected it from her, carring it at his front together with his own backed. I started having a feeling. Oh my God! Is this not jealousy? I said
to myself. No no no, he isnt mine, sister Debby owns him, I thought to my self. Whenever i have a liking for any brother, i usually try to attach a sister that is more intimate with him in other to put him off my mind. "he has found you", i heard the still small voice say. No, i retorted. Yes, the spirit said gently. No, yes! No no, yes. No, no, no! Drama began in my mind. No, i said again for the last time. Yes, the still voice said faintly and there goes the battle field of the mind... . After a while, Bro Ayo suddenly shouted, who saw my rose flower? Please am looking for it. Wetin you dey do with rose in camp kitchen? People
murmured. I bought it for my mum's birthday ni o, he said as he walked outside the kitchen browsing through the grasses in search of it. Few minutes later, while we rested, checking on the stew from time to time to know when its done, sister Lara, my room mate, suddenly highjacked my hand, holding it tightly as i followed her outside the kitchen reluctantly.
Wetin happen this time around? I said. Rosemary, Just follow me, she replied. Before i knew it, she
stopped at the front of bro Ayo and said jokingly, this is your rose, she's the best gift you can give
to moma for her birthday... I jacked my hands off her and i left angrily, bearing down to the church
auditorium like a berserk Buffalo. I later knew that Lara found the rose which was neatly
placed in a small, transparent red box and gave it to bro Ayo when i left. She later apologized to
me. After that day, i kept Marriage thoughts out of my mind and faced my studies. Bro Ayo graduated the same year as an industrial Engineer, while i was in 300level as a pharmacy student. Towards the mid first semester in my final year, he called me on phone. He talked so long and was somewhat beating about the bush.
I thought he wanted to propose to me but he said he actually wanted to see me so that i would help him deliver a message and letter to someone. We met at Garrison garden. He was
already waiting for me. Sorry for the delay, i had to trek down from the library, i said. Oh, no
problem. My heart raced as i searched his eyes..
My roomies said they were damn sure he wanted to propose but I was 100% sure that was far
from his mission. Well, i would like to send you to sister Mary, tell her that i love her and want
to Marry her. So she's the lucky one...I thought to myself. It was very funny to me as i was almost jittering while he talked. I suddenly gave him a questioning look of whats my business with that.. Mary Akinsola? I asked. No, Adebisi Rosemary, he replied. That was me!! my heart leapt into my throat... I kept mute for a minute. I tried to hide my blushful feelings. Well, i will pray and think about it. Thats the normal answers ladies give. Even though, i knew my answer was yes already. Thanks a lot, he replied as he saw me off, back to the library where i was editing my project.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
We had just concluded our wedding reception. It was indeed a moderately expensive one. Hmmn, i was overwhelmed with joy unspeakable as i couldnt let off my eyes from my adorable handsome husband after said "i do". The first night of our wedding was glorious.. Am sure you know the normal experience. If not, read "The act of marriage" by Tim laHaye. We had all night of prayer and Bible study the next day while in the morning, we visited the amusement park. we engaged in various fun activities and utilized the park rides such as, Ferris Wheels, Scrambler, Bumper Car, train, and the carousel, also called merry-go-round which i enjoyed most. The ride consists of a rotating platform with seats that move up and down. The seats are the really special part, made of wood, fiberglass, and shaped to look like decorated animals, such as deer, cats, fish, rabbits, giraffes, and, of course, horses. We visited the zoo and botanical garden the third day. We visited many other exciting places while we rounded up our honeymoon the next Saturday with prayer and fasting.
Marriage Stage Two : Adjustment stage
My husband always buy me gifts with loads of surprises. Sometimes, he would write a love note
and put it in my handbag with flowers. At times, i would turn the bathroom light on, and i would see decorations and writings such as "you're my light in the dark". He would always carry me in his arms to the bedroom whenever i sleep of in the guest room. I love to feel his warmth. We did almost everything together. We shop together, bath together, eat together, and even do house chores together. Barely about a year after our wedding, things started falling apart as our love grew cold towards each other. He would always complain of being busy whenever i want us to do things together and i soon lost the attention he usually gave me. We started finding faults and when he tries to blame my weaknesses, i also nag him with his weaknesses. Whenever he gets angry, he would slam the door and Sometimes go
to sleep in a friend's house overnight. We never thought of divorce because we knew that Marriage has no reverse gear, but we lived cat and dog life. While at the dinning he would correct me harshly. Always close your mouth while eating, dont eat like a village girl, he would say. Ah ahn, cant you correct me nicely? after all, you always snore like a pig, disturbing me when you sleep, i would reply him and he would give me an angry look. After all i gave him tit for tat.
We later visited the pastor for counselling. He gave us loads of advice and explained that we were in the adjustment phase and that, its the Stage where most couples divorce or separate except they pray and work things out.
Marriage Stage Three:
We both learnt about the four different types of temperaments explained by the pastor ; Choleric,
Sanguine, phlegmatic and melancholic. We googled it, browsed and read related books. By
Now, we have learnt to praise each other's strength and also help to overcome each other's
weaknesses. Infact, Ayomide proposed to me again but i never gave it a thought this time
around. I gave him a sweet response immediately. Feelings come and go. But, true love acts on knowledge to do the right thing, even when feeling is absent. If you want to live an heaven on earth family life, walk by knowledge and pray hard when times are
turbulent. (Written by Apapa Taiwo Hamid ).
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